The Last Day Of The Year..

Isn’t the last day of the year supposed to be joyful? The day wherein everyone is so thankful for the past year and is awaiting the next year’s bountiful opportunities. The day when the night if full of revelry and joy and cheer and drink and celebrations. The perfect end. But I find I am in no mood for such celebration.

A friend asked me what I want for the New Year. I replied by saying : ” I Want To Be Happy.” Now, that is an expansive an answer and wish one can have . It’s so simple really. Do what you love and love what you do. Everyone seems to be aiming to be happy, but why do we make ourselves so miserable instead. We always crave more. We crave to to be loved like in the stories, we desire to meet our soulmate and be with someone who we “feel” may understand us, we want to be famous and admired by all, we need everything! But for what?! Why is it I desire to be this person that everyone else wants. Why do I always look a certain way and behave a certain way as accepted by society. Why can’t I be happy with who I am. A idealistic, crazy, generous, loyal, enthusiastic  confused being. Must I change for you? For you to like me better and for me to indulge in my romantic fantasies.

The New Year symbolises the start of so many things. The start to a better focus on my studies. The start to more attention on my physical well being, The start to a more proactive and social person.  The problem is that I don’t know what I want. I don’t know what I need. I both invite and detest confusion.

Messing Up. It’s what makes a person. It’s how we learn. Where we find joy in the things we don’t plan for in the things we never see coming.

I quite like this. I hope I learn as much as I can this upcoming year and I find joy in all I do.

Happy New Year, Readers.

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